ASK Crushable: How do I become one of those people who host effortlessly chic dinner parties?
Goddess Gwenyth Paltrow
Dear CRUSHABLE,
How do I become one of those people who host those effortlessly chic dinner parties with amazing food, ambiance and company? How do some people seem to just know, where other people fall short? What are the secrets?
Regards,
Martha Stewart Hopeful
Dear Martha,
We all know those people - it’s as though they’re the alumni of some sort of GOOP sorority, equipped with knowledge mere plebeians never think about, like, how to organize a Staub collection by size and colour. They house myriad details in their brains, minutiae setting the most impossible standards.
Everything smells good. The napkins remind you of 500 thread count Egyptian cotton. The music always seems to be at just right the volume and genre. The wine is delicious and impossibly cool - of course it’s from some biodynamic vineyard in northern Slovenia that tastes like an angel’s clit! If everything wasn’t so fucking perfect, you’d hate them. (maybe you do just a little bit)
With careful observation over the last 20 years, I’ve concluded there are a few, but crucial personality traits all excellent hosts embody. The key is that these characteristics never feel forced - they’re innate.
They have an impeccable attention to detail
Have you ever been to a friend’s house where you spotted dust bunnies in the corner, baseboards that look as though they hadn’t been vacuumed maybe ever, or a rogue pube in the bathroom? It elicits the same reaction when staying at a subpar hotel - the ick factor. Cleanliness is next to Godliness.
The best hosts know that to make their guests feel at ease, their home needs to be spotless. You know that feeling when you’ve finished your annual spring clean, where you let out a big, satisfying breath of relief knowing you could eat a full meal off your floor? Great hosts know that the devil is in the details.
Everything is in its right place - they’ve got the best hand soap, the plushest of towels, and just about every accessory from vintage side plates to coupes all so that your experience - the guest - is seamless.
They are exceptional listeners
Great hosts don’t make the night about them - they know what it means to be truly hospitable - and even though it might appear as though the event is their stage - it’s not.
The best hosts know that curating a phenomenal experience is only about one thing - how they make their guests feel.
Nobody has the palate to withstand a self absorbed, obnoxious host - someone who gets too drunk, loud and argumentative.
The effortless host asks probing questions, listens, and radiates humility throughout the entire evening.
They are worldly
Here you’ll try unique, new and interesting dishes, wine, and be regaled with fascinating tales of their last trip somewhere obscure, a locale most wouldn’t normally travel to.
Your wine is served in the best crystal, and comes with a story of how they met the winemaker, coupled with why they chose that particular vintage to pair with that evening’s meal - all of which is locally sourced.
They’ll probably tell you about the last amazing book they read, of which they’ll gift to you as you depart. Every surface in their home seems to be graced with a more interesting artifact than the last.
It all unravels in the dim glow of carefully placed candles, which they know is the most flattering light.
It really isn’t that complicated to be a good host - it’s just that our society loves to make the simplest of things complex.
Pay attention, listen, and be curious.
Cheers,
Laura
