ASK CRUSHABLE: Why does my wine taste like funky spunk?

Dear Crushable,

I see a lot of talk on social media about mousey wine, including tons of memes making fun of it. I don’t really understand what it is, just that some wines taste off because of it, and that a lot of people defend it for reasons beyond me.

Why would anyone want to drink wine that tastes like funky spunk? Ew.

Thanks,

Funky Spunk

Dear Funky Spunk,

Your guess is as good as mine. Modern winemaking has become rife with fault apologists.

Sometimes, it can be attributed to laziness and a lack of accountability. Like - you made the damn thing, don’t you want to improve and learn from your mistakes? It reeks of privileged private school kids whose parents buy them out of scandals.

Mouse has become prevalent in recent years since the onset and proliferation of natural wine - those choosing to make wine with no interventions or additives. Though, this isn’t entirely an accurate assessment since there are plenty of gorgeous examples of natural wines that aren’t mousey.

Generally, mouse occurs in high pH/low acid wines without the addition of sulphur - a wildly controversial additive that acts as an anti-microbial and preservative in winemaking. You can read more about why mouse occurs from an organoleptic standpoint here, here and here.

When natural winemaking was adopted at large, many eschewed the use of sulphur, deeming wines that employed it as “unpure”, with claims that it doctored or dulled flavour profile.

What resulted was an abundance of mousey wines. It’s been described as tasting like puppy breath, corn chips, hamster cage, or funky spunk. It’s a pungent, off flavour that lingers in the back of your throat. The issue is that you can’t smell it - it’s a retro nasal reaction. The wine reacts with the pH of your saliva, so you don’t perceive it until you’ve swallowed.

Another issue is that about 30% of people can’t detect it. Much like the contingent who think cilantro tastes like soap, or those who can’t identify when their pee stinks after eating asparagus.

The trend du jour is to defend, with claims that mouse sorts itself out over time - all that’s required is a little patience for the wine to ameliorate. I’ve been told it can sometimes happen in young wines rushed to market too soon - the only solution to combat it is with a small dose of S02, that most would deem sacrilege.

Excellent winemaking is much like cheesemaking - you want the sense of place to show - which only happens by avoiding intervention as much as possible. Mother Nature should dictate your decisions. A clean, but not sterile environment is best - become too obsessive with your hygiene though, and you’ll kill good bacteria. Conversely, a laissez faire attitude can result in a dirty environment perfect for growing bad pathogens. Balance is key.

Your best bet for avoiding mousey wines? Look for bottles with low doses of SO2. If you’re unsure of how to find these, ask your local wine boutique or agents for wines that have 10-50PPM of sulphites.

Good luck!

Laura