What’s a “natty bro”? A compilation of natural wine’s worst stereotypes

Curated in collaboration with US Natural Wine based in Austin, Texas.

It’s fair to say that if any amount of tropes exist of a certain “type”, there’s a strong likelihood one has become a caricature of oneself.

You know the type – those dudes who take themselves a little too seriously, an entire identity structured around wine they *refuse* to put to their lips - a type of behaviour everyone but them recognizes as complete ignorance.

The natty bro identity is simply a mask, a rabbit hole they fell down after watching one too many episodes of “Fuck That’s Delicious” starring their beloved Action Bronson. If you learned about natural wine from a chef turned hip hop artist, you’re probably on this list.

Who did we miss?

The Church of Biodynamics bro

This guy is intensely defensive of dogma – without it, there are no convictions to hide behind. If it’s not zero/zero, it’s not wine! (something about greedy people not being perrmitted to make natural wine….) Their patron saint? Rudolf Steiner, of course! Though they eschew organized religion of any kind, they fail to see the parallels of their own narrow mindedness.

The Crunchy Bro

This dude is one with the earth, loves regenerative farming, usually has lots of tattoos, is a crystal collector, and is most definitely vegan.

The Skater Bro

He looks like he’s in high school and has a juvenile aura about him - think Forrest Gump when he ran across the country. Is usually unkempt and probably hasn’t showered in 4 days. This guy isn’t classically trained – anti knowledge is his thing.

I did a harvest in Beaujolais bro

This fellow studied abroad, cares deeply about sulphites but smokes Marlboro lights and loves cocaine - he’s always got a guy on speed dial for an 8 ball. Generally doesn’t care about what goes into his body (except for natty).

The Idealogue bro

“I support the current thing” - so long as that current thing gets him laid. The new brunch date? Protests! He’s making a difference - but mostly so he appears virtuous (and again, so he can get laid).

*Could also be filed under social justice warrior.

The wine bottles as décor bro

Radikon, Gut Oggau, and Ganevat all grace his window sill as the ultimate status symbol.

I’ll die by this producer bro

Spends exclusively $75 or more per bottle, but somehow never drinks out of good quality glassware.

The Parrot bro

Believes anything he’s told and is very susceptible to marketing – his knowledge is limited. He’s just not worldly – wisdom is not what he espouses. He carries himself with a childlike naïveté, prone to gimmicks. You can tell what articles he reads and where he sources his content. The government can’t be wrong!

“The Vice bro”

He is a pseudo intellectual plagued by Dunning Krueger effect. “Some lose all mind and become soul: insane. Some lose all soul and become mind: intellectual. Some lose both and become: accepted.” -James Bukowkski